Dear You ...Letting go
Updated: Apr 15, 2019
Let’s Talk about … Letting go!
Of old relationships, old flings, and old circumstances in your life. It’s actually very hard to let go of something you’ve been accustomed to for so long, and who ever prepared you for this? No One! It’s the truth, we all turn to our just as experienced girlfriends attempting to take advice. It does make us feel better, but in reality it just makes us content for the time being because we feel less alone with our issues. In the end we’ve all ended up falling back into the same cycle.
I’m here to say that if you constantly or have ever deleted a message thread or number of someone, you’ve already decided that you don’t want them in your life. The next step would be coming to terms with yourself in understanding the relationship you have with that person and realizing if it’s toxic or not . I always come to ask myself what is the actual relationship I have with this person? What relationship do I want with this person? Do I actually see this person as a part of my future? Lastly, is this person good for me and to me right now?
If the relationship is healthy continue to figure out where you guys are headed and if it’s something you really want at the moment, just do it. But if it’s toxic and you absolutely don’t see the other person becoming someone suitable for you right now, odds are he or she will not be changing anytime soon. Please believe what people show you! Because in reality that’s who they are, and yes people change but only when circumstances change. So, if you guys are still running around the same track, and the only thing that’s different is the timing, they WILL NOT change. Especially not if you’re putting up with it. Yes, they may have potential and yes, they may give you attention and yes, they seem so intriguing and they want you and so on. But, what are they adding to you? Do they make you happy? Do they follow through on their promises? Do they spend enough time with you, or are they just contacting you when it’s convenient for them? Are they continuing to be that person that you never wanted and still don’t want?
It’s ok to have moments of weakness and feel the need to be wanted! But we have to take a closer look at the dynamic of women in our society, women are groomed to nurture, love, and care. You have the ability to bring life into this world so why do you think that you have to settle for the first guy with a beard and a job (I know we’ve settled for less lol). We can explore and ignore just as much as we want. Put your mind and energy into something useful like upgrading yourself. This can ensure that you know exactly what you’re bringing to the table and what standards you have for your partner moving forward. Focus on yourself and how you‘ll grow into a person able to emotionally, physically, and mentally provide for yourself, your lifestyle or your future family. Think about how you want to be treated and what you can learn by doing that for yourself. You can’t expect anything from someone that you can’t first provide for yourself.
So, speak up! Say what you really want to say to whomever is holding you back, say and mean that you’re done. You have to really let go and take those steps to ensure that you’ve cut all ties. They will either do one or two things: be forced to level up and become the person you need or be forced to actually leave you alone because you refuse to put up with it anymore. Stop with the excuses and have a serious talk with yourself. Life is filled with temptations but the beauty in life comes from the decisions you make. Learn to separate your wants from your needs, It feels amazing and you’ll know the difference.